I disliked Timothee Chalamet.
I hadn’t watched any of his movies, or seen any of his interviews.
But I disliked him purely because of this picture-
His overly chiseled jawline and cheekbones. Along with his hair, eyes, and style made him appear too perfect.
Then, I saw an interview with him where he admitted he was socially awkward.
After that, I just fell in love with him.
This study explains it all.
There’s a study that explains why I went from disliking him to loving him.
In the study, subjects were shown four recordings, which were said to be for College Quiz Bowl tryouts.
The first recording was of a competent candidate who got 92% of the questions right.
The second recording was of an incompetent candidate who got 30% of the questions right.
In the third recording, a competent candidate was shown, but after he finished answering the questions he spilled coffee on himself.
Lastly, the fourth recording was of an incompetent candidate who also spilled coffee on himself after he answered the questions.
Guess who was the least-liked candidate?
Not surprisingly it was the incompetent candidate who spilled coffee on himself.
But guess who was the most liked candidate?
It was the competent candidate who spilled coffee on himself, not the competent candidate who didn’t spill coffee.
This shows that we like people who are good at things. But we like people who are good at things and show some vulnerability even more. Their weaknesses make them seem human and approachable.
This is probably why I liked Timothee Chalamet.
Seeing a model-looking, A-list actor admits he’s socially awkward just made him more human.
This is why “Never Appear Too Perfect” is a law in the book ‘48 Laws of Power’ by Robert Greene (a book I haven’t read).
We consciously or unconsciously envy other people. Their perfection can make us feel inferior to them and even dislike them.
This is why you don’t want to look perfect. Instead of making people like you, it might actually do the opposite. After all the need to appear perfect is a sign of low self-esteem.
I first came across the coffee effect in a video analyzing the psychology used by Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs was so smart he skipped two grades in middle school.
He was also so stubborn that he went to Atari(before he was successful) and demanded a job interview.
The people at Atari declined. But Steve Jobs refused to leave until he got his interview. He was ready to get kicked out by the police, but he wouldn’t leave.
Finally, they interviewed him. He showcased his great depth of knowledge and they took him in.
Here two psychological principles made him seem more valuable.
The first was sunken costs— if something takes more effort to get it feels more valuable.
The second is the coffee effect. He showcased his weakness (stubbornness) but he also backed himself up with his strengths and knowledge. This is how the coffee effect might’ve helped him get the job.
But, yes, Steve Jobs is a bad example of ‘never appearing too perfect’, he was in fact heavily disliked because of his weaknesses(stubbornness).
Nevertheless, I thought I’d share the story because that’s where I came across the idea of never appearing too perfect.
The lesson I learnt is to develop skills, and not be afraid of having or showing weaknesses.
That’s it, I’ll catch you in the next one:)
So interesting. Does spilling tea count? :)